names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
