I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Can I color on your dick again?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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