He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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