he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
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Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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