From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
