Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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