well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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