her vagina looked like bernie madoff
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..