No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
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