Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Swine flu. Run for my life!

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  (310) Swine flu. Run for my life! http://tfl.nu/6pt3
  Replies (3) Good night (889) Bad night (647)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Chicken burrito, or no deal.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Is that code for my vagina?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

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  (402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv
  Replies (30) Good night (4413) Bad night (1121)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore

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  (513): i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore http://tfl.nu/1wm1
  Replies (42) Good night (974) Bad night (4269)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.

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  (208): Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation. http://tfl.nu/cfqm
  Replies (20) Good night (4092) Bad night (794)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.

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  (651): A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life. http://tfl.nu/zayp
  Replies (16) Good night (4360) Bad night (751)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3

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  (403): Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3 http://tfl.nu/lt38
  Replies (20) Good night (1941) Bad night (3822)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.

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  (228): He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him. http://tfl.nu/emw6
  Replies (10) Good night (1284) Bad night (2905)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.

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  (734): He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine. http://tfl.nu/5uk3
  Replies (12) Good night (3337) Bad night (1084)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink

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  (586): hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink http://tfl.nu/wrew
  Replies (4) Good night (2252) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.

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  (561): The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED. http://tfl.nu/purq
  Replies (4) Good night (1274) Bad night (807)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?

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  (412): Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with? http://tfl.nu/cuy6
  Replies (7) Good night (1687) Bad night (1114)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.

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  (307): I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left. http://tfl.nu/b2xd
  Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....

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  (403): Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on.... http://tfl.nu/blut
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  What? How can you say that? You won!

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  (813): The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before. (1-813): What? How can you say that? You won! http://tfl.nu/a7ws
  Replies (5) Good night (932) Bad night (345)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups

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  (732): Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups http://tfl.nu/mtyy
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (99)

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