Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.