Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!

  (650): View more from California

  LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!

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  (415): WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!! (650): LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops! http://tfl.nu/mj23
  Replies (4) Good night (1127) Bad night (884)
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  (858): View more from California

  My sheets look like a crime scene.

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  (858): My sheets look like a crime scene. http://tfl.nu/7f9h
  Replies (9) Good night (790) Bad night (984)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm in love

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  (484): I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue (484): I'm in love http://tfl.nu/im8q
  Replies (5) Good night (3509) Bad night (519)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?

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  (956): If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you? http://tfl.nu/uuhm
  Replies (31) Good night (1504) Bad night (3597)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.

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  (502): Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall. http://tfl.nu/wfv4
  Replies (6) Good night (932) Bad night (2950)
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  (607): View more from New York

  How was dinner with ur grandparents?

  (1-607): View more from New York

  I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."

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  (607): How was dinner with ur grandparents? (1-607) I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana." http://tfl.nu/9nup
  Replies (18) Good night (1448) Bad night (6602)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

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  (864): I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen http://tfl.nu/n18y
  Replies (34) Good night (6860) Bad night (1449)
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  (315): View more from New York

  can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...

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  (315): can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits... http://tfl.nu/8lcs
  Replies (7) Good night (666) Bad night (4170)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.

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  (507): Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss. http://tfl.nu/1ntp
  Replies (10) Good night (5306) Bad night (877)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

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  (703): What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'? http://tfl.nu/3ece
  Replies (12) Good night (2369) Bad night (1049)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked

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  (613): who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked http://tfl.nu/fbnh
  Replies (4) Good night (2618) Bad night (640)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.

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  (904): whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry. http://tfl.nu/s428
  Replies (3) Good night (1412) Bad night (946)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.

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  (229): As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win. http://tfl.nu/omjw
  Replies (2) Good night (1481) Bad night (467)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......

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  (901): Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this...... http://tfl.nu/c0ql
  Replies (6) Good night (463) Bad night (1291)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?

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  (206): sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches? http://tfl.nu/kl03
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (314)

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