im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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