I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
