Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
