I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
