I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Houston, we have a blender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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