9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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