No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
