Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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