Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
