i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
