i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
