She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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