i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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