and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
