JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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