Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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