Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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