Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
