She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
