I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
