Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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