Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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