This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
