Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
