and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
