Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
