Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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