just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
