Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
