Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
