The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
