I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
