This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
