So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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