I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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