i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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