the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
