Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
