that's an acceptable place to lick
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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