Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
