it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you made out with another girl for some wings
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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