dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
two words...techno handjob
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
