Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
