Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
