And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
