dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
