We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
