what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The best revenge is premature balding
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize