I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize