she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
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