If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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