I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
