You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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