Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
They are going to name an STD after you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize