fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
