dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
