Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
